May 28, 2024

A couple of weeks ago, the BBC was really troubled that the majority of Britain’s train drivers are ‘overwhelmingly white, middle-aged men’. The rationale, of course, was that diversity would somehow make the trains safer, or run on time. Or something.

Anyway, after complaining about the demographics of train drivers, the BBC realizes there’s actually a driver shortage. But rather than give those jobs to middle-aged white men, they’ve come up with another suggestion:

Are you serious right now?

Apparently they are:

Teenagers will be able to qualify to drive trains on Britain’s railways under new proposals.

The government is asking for views on reducing the minimum age from 20 to 18, in a consultation running until 13 June.

The number of train drivers due to retire in the next five years has prompted concerns of a shortage. Their average age at the moment is 48.

The Department for Transport said the plan would “build resilience”.

School leavers would be able to take up apprenticeships to become drivers.

Rail Minister Huw Merriman said the department wanted to “open the door for young people considering transport as a career, and this proposal could give school leavers a clear path into the sector”.

“By boosting age diversity in the sector and attracting more drivers, we can help support reliable services while creating opportunities for more young people,” he added.

But what if they’re white male teenagers? Do they not qualify for the job?

Recommended

If there are 1,000 applicants for every job, then there shouldn’t be a shortage. Unless those applicants aren’t ‘diverse’ enough.

It’s a huge responsibility to put on the shoulders of an 18-year-old.

Possibly. Gotta keep diversity in mind at all times.

If training time and slow recruitment are the issues, teenagers aren’t going to fix that problem.

Unless they change the standards of the tests, which never ends well.

A ‘Starship Troopers’ reference. Excellent work.

Also a great reference.

What could possibly go wrong here?

Oh, EVERYTHING.

Nailed it.

Also an excellent reference.

Government in a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen.