May 19, 2024

There is nothing good about the pro-Hamas protests going on at college campuses. They range from foolish and stupid to hateful and vile, and usually involve some combination thereof. But even as we have to endure overprivileged students and professional outside agitators continue to try to destroy the American education institution, we’ve also been able to enjoy many of the responses to them. 

Some are just pure courage, like the Jewish UPenn student who bravely and calmly refused to let protesters who were threatening him with violence deter him from walking on his own campus. Some have been patriotic, like the UNC ‘frat boys’ who stood against a mob trying to remove an American flag and raise a Palestinian flag in its place. And still some others have been a combination of virtues, like the UCLA Jewish student who happily ate bananas in front of protesters who are somehow desperately afraid of that healthy fruit. 

And then there are the ones that just make us laugh with schadenfreude and poetic justice. 

This was the case at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, this week. Because they are ‘mostly peaceful,’ protesters at the school had disgracefully defaced a campus wall with their pro-Hamas graffiti. So, the school called in a team of contractors to paint over their anti-American and antisemitic vandalism. When the protesters tried to stand in front of the contractors to prevent them from doing the job they were hired to do, their response was perfection. 

‘No problem. You could use a paint job too, kids.’ 

Watch:

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The protesters called this ‘assault.’ (Because of course they did.) The police officer at the end of the video called it  ‘Sucks to be you, I guess.’

We call it delicious. And hilarious. 

Look: The protesters are now all ‘white supremacists.’

If these kids have parents worth a damn, they would say, ‘Good. You deserved it. Now, go take a shower, you white devils.’

Ooooh, THAT would have been good. But we’ll settle for them being whitewashed as completely as Aunt Polly’s fence.

That was a common sentiment. Maybe someone can start a GoFundMe for the contractors’ beer fund. They might raise almost as much money as those UNC boys have. 

HA. That’s an apt analogy.

Nor should he have. Protesters want to play stupid games, protesters deserve their stupid prizes. 

We knew heroes didn’t all wear capes. We weren’t aware that some carried spray guns. 

Maybe not quite Picasso, but it sure is better than anything Hunter Biden ever painted. 

Yeah, no one is taking the ‘assault’ claim seriously. Let’s be honest here. These wimpy protesters claim they’re being ‘assaulted’ if someone eats a bagel in their general vicinity. 

A job’s a job. No matter who gets in the way. Maybe the next time climate cultists decide to glue themselves to a highway, someone can hire a paving contractor … complete with a steamroller. 

Say, that’s a good question. How did the protesters all have face shields in their ‘grassroots’ encampment? Maybe we should ask George Soros and Bill Gates about that. 

They just need to perform some more interpretive dances on the lawn. That’ll do the trick. 

Right? Think of the commercials they could run. 

Whoever makes this paint or primer should add that feature to the can. ‘Covers stains, fading, water damage, and whiny dweebs in a single coat.’

Give the entire crew a raise and a bonus for a job well done. 

They’ve been beautifully … colonized. 

We want to set the entire video to music. Fortunately, Twitter supplied the perfect song choice, with a slightly changed title for the protesters’ benefit:

‘I see some pro-test-ers and want to paint them white.’ We can hear Mick Jagger singing it right now. 

Yep. That’ll do. That’ll do just fine. 

Stay tuned to Twitchy for more stories celebrating the unsung heroes of the campus insurrections.