Dear Diary,
It’s Day 3 of my protest for free speech here on the grounds at Google, and Diary, I am starting to get a little worried. The number of squirrels has continued to grow, and it appears some of these new squirrels are protesting. It’s true! I can’t even make this up. Honestly, I swear some may even be part of the trans-movement.
I know, Diary, you think I’m losing my mind but one of them has been carrying around a tiny little sign that says, ‘TRANS-SQUIRRELS ARE FEMALE SQUIRRELS,’ and if I look close, it looks like this particular squirrel is wearing eye shadow and lipstick. Then again, I can’t get too close to this squirrel because it hisses at me and flips the bird every time I look at it …
There are a couple of other squirrels marching around with the trans-squirrel but they have tiny little masks on their faces so I can’t tell if they’re wearing makeup or not.
Oh, and did I mention the climate change squirrels? Again, Diary, you’re going to think I’m loony tunes but I caught two of them trying to recycle my coffee cup this morning – they were squeaking about my carbon footprint and shaming me for supporting fossil fuels. I swear, Diary, one of them said, ‘HOW DARE YOU?!’
Finally, there are the pro-Hamas squirrels although some of them seem confused and think they’re BLM squirrels. I have to admit though, their little keffiyehs are sorta cute, Diary. They are also the only group of squirrels to show up and threaten me with a hunger strike. Right? I had no idea squirrels would be willing to go without food to defend Hamas or BLM or whatever they’re fighting for but apparently, they will. One more thing about this group of squirrels, Diary, they all have the same tent as I do! Granted, they are much smaller but the same colors and shapes.
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Huh.
For the most part, I am keeping my distance from the squirrels, especially the trans-ones … while none of them is exactly friendly, the gender-confused squirrels are the worst. They keep leaving me notes outside my tent, addressing me as the ‘Righty cis-woman’ and telling me I can’t keep them from using my bathroom.
It’s getting weird out here, Diary.
Just a short reminder, Diary, that I can cut my encampment short if more people sign up for our Twitchy VIP Membership program. And just like when I first began my journey, long before the squirrels started showing up in large, hissing, nasty groups, people can still save 50% off using my special code, BRINGFOOHOME. That also goes for the Gold Membership which would give them access to all Townhall Media sites.
In closing, Diary, the dogs are fine. Of course, they’re not thrilled but the squirrels are at least smart enough to keep their distance from them.
For now.
Pray for us, Diary.
FREE SPEECH FOR ALL!
Love,
Sam
